I know everything and absolutely nothing about you

Thanksgiving- a time of thanks and stuffing our faces with lots of food. I spent the day mostly outside running in the Turkey Trot 5 K and snowshoeing up Mt. Jumbo.  I spent a lot of time in my head thinking about what I'm thankful for.  There are lots of things that come to mind, but one thing that ranks high, is having good friends.

Not too long ago Penny texted me and said, “You know I’m coming to Juneau, right?”  I replied back, “No!?”  The next text I received from her was a photo of her itinerary. This is a classic Penny maneuver and one of the things I really do love about her even though it also drives me absolutely crazy.  Penny’s always been a fly by the seat of her pants kind of girl- which has gotten us into good situations, and some not so good situations. 

-Befriending of the random travelers who hooked us up with sweet situations- good. 

-The befriending of the bikers outside The Arctic Bar in Ketchikan- not so good. 

-Convincing the conductor on the train from Nice to Paris that her friend was sick and needed a room- good and absolutely hilarious. So freaking hilarious.

-The commandeering of a stick shift car in Juneau that she didn’t know how to drive- not so good and definitely not so fun.

There are several Penny stories that I can recount and all of them have hilarious endings even if they were not amusing to me at the time.  I love this girl with all my heart and though it’s sometimes interesting to step into “Pennyland” and fully get where she’s going and what she’s up to, it’s something I’ll never take for granted.

Penny’s visit was a one day only affair so we tried to fill each other in on what each of us has been up to.  We ended the day at the Bubble Room in the Baranof Hotel.  I like it there because it is typically empty and you can carry on a conversation without getting groped by a stranger.  Penny was drinking white zinfandel and I a cucumber martini, informing each other of all the happenings in our lives since we last saw each other when she reached across the table, put her hand on mine and said, “Franny, I know everything and absolutely nothing about you.”

It sort of stopped me in my tracks because I was pretty sure that Penny knew all there was to know about me.  What was she getting at? Did she think I was hiding something from her?  I wanted to say, “What do you want to know and I’ll tell you.” Instead, the conversation sort of fell silent. 

Penny makes a valid point.  How much do we really know about the people we consider our closest friends?  Or our families for that matter?  The reality is, does it even matter?

Penny and I are so incredibly different in every way that it’s often a wonder we ever became friends at all.  We could be used as the primary examples of Type A and Type B personalities.  She tells me crazy stories that I have a hard time following.  She gets mesmerized by the VitaJuicer sales rep at Costco for an ungodly amount of time. And, she will spark a conversation with anyone and everyone.   Meanwhile, I dive into lengthy soliloquies about food and food preparation that leave her wondering what ceviche is. I bore her with politics, and I won’t even make eye contact with the VitaJuicer guy as I walk by fighting the urge to flip him off out of sheer annoyance.  Aside from music, we have completely different interests and views on the world.  Penny is always dreaming of the future and I’m always trying to stay grounded in the moment. 

A friend once told me the whole purpose of a relationship is to take care of each other.  I thought that definition was limited to romantic relationships, but during that snowshoe climb up Mt. Jumbo, I came to the realization that taking care of each other is really the staple to any relationship, be it romantic or friendly.

Penny always has my back- always. While traveling in Amsterdam, a man came up to me from behind, grabbed me and started touching me..  We were in Dam Square in broad daylight and I was so stunned, I just stood there like an idiot unable to move.  Penny was ahead of me and she turned around to tell me something when she saw what was happening.  Immediately she went after the guy and started beating the pulp out of him with her Van Gogh poster tube.  He let go of me and fled down an alley where Penny started after him, prompting me to start after Penny to stop her from getting into an alley fight with the guy.  While Penny brings the guts to the table, I have always brought the voice of reason reminding her to not get in the car with the stranger and to not jump off the dock by herself at 3 AM for “fun.”.  Unfortunately, I often remind her of these things after the fact or while I’m riding in the back of a Porsche with Penny and three guys who don’t speak a word of English.

Penny and I, late 90s resting on one of our singing walks

After dining on camembert cheese baked in puff pastry with a fig jam drizzle and steamed manila clams in a white wine and garlic broth served with crusty sourdough bread (see there I go with the food talk) we left the Bubble Room and drove around listening to music and singing.  Penny mentioned that she was singing in the Monthly Grind in February and I suggested it would be fun if I could come down to Ketchikan and sing a song with her as a guest.  Next thing I know, we’re sitting in the parked car writing a set list, forming a band, arguing over harmonies and rehearsing songs.

Penny and I may not have a lot in common besides our love of music and singing.  We don’t have similar personalities, run in the same social circles, share interests or know everything about each other. What I do know is we take care of each other and we live in the moment enjoying each other’s company.  Knowing that is really all that matters.


…"And maybe that's all that we need is to meet in the middle of impossibility.  Standing at opposite poles, equal partners in a mystery…" -Indigo Girls